This is not what it looks like

20.06Not exactly the caption you want to be using in a blog devoted to, well, pictures – but I was having a bad drawing day, and alas, sometimes things just do *not* work out.

So yes, I am well aware that this looks like a man in a full-on snog with a rather unconsenting lion. Sorry about that. HOWEVER. In my defence, it is not in fact an endorsement of bestiality, nor of any type of unwilling or even slightly hesitant snoggery;   I am not even sure about mutually heartfelt and ecstatic snoggery, given my uncertainty over whether lions are actually able to give any consent in such matters, beyond eating the snogger I suppose. So, no. Instead, I maintain that this is my brave attempt at rendering a confused lion tamer putting the lion’s head into his mouth (instead of vice versa.) Yes yes I know. It doesn’t work.

I did try to do it from the side but the poor lion tamer had to thoroughly unhinge his jaw and it was creepy; then I did it with the lion tilting its head sort of sideways from the front, which looked like it had had its neck broken and was horrifying; then with a tiny lion only that was like something out of a nightmare. So really, you got the best out of a series of increasingly disturbing images and should be grateful it’s no worse than it is.

The take-home lesson? Sometimes you’ve got to try, try, try again and then …STOP. Really, it wasn’t very funny in the first place.

 

Not a spigging Stickleback

17.06So my Sources (thank you Springwatch) tell me that there is a fish called the stickleback which, during the mating season, uses anal secetions to glue sticks together to make a nest, and that this process is known as “spigging”. The above is not a stickleback because sticklebacks are not in fact goldfish, but sticklebacks look kind of murky and dull and also I could not be bothered to look up a picture for reference. BUT point being: “spigging” is now my new favourite word and I would like to introduce it into common usage as a mild swear word, as in “You spigging fool!”, “Alphonse, turn us round immediately! I’ve left the spigging tap on!”, or even “OW spigging spiggity spig” for when you have dropped something on your foot.

Please do, ahem, spread the word.

Woo Pride?

14.06When *I* think Pride I think sparkly things, boys dressed up as butterflies, more sparkly things, dresses, sparkly things, facepaint, sparkly things and.. I dunno, glitter. Other People, apparently, think “bondage moose plays the accordion”. HOW DOES IT EVEN PLAY THERE ARE TINY BUTTONS IT HAS NO FINGERS

Stuff and Things

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Hello and happy Monday! Here are some actualdoodles and also me and my colouring stall at the shop – I’ve added more coloured pictures to the board which makes it look a bit brighter but that’s pretty much it. The gallery is having us for an extra two weeks though so I am thinking of having some cards made from my favourite doodles – OH if I did, I don’t suppose anyone has any that they remember and think I should use? I mean otherwise I’ll just do 150 of Hildegard of Bingen riding a Plesiosaur because I have no idea why but it just fills that aching void in my soul…

Aaanyway about the actualdoodles, if you look on the bottom right of the top doodle, apart from the fact that I *want* strawberry Christmas to be a thing now, you might poooossibly notice that the ends of the girls hair and the whateveritis on her jumper are actually the inside of a monster’s mouth, from a doodle I posted a while back. I’d torn out a piece of paper (on the left side of this picture; the left corner of this picture was actually already on a previous doodle) to make a note about something. So if the edges look weirdly familiar, well done on your exquisite visual memory, I am in awe and also abject fear of you!

Oh and on the second doodle the scary insectmonsterthing was originally a scuba-diving cat but I have discovered that cats wearing scuba masks look very wrong, at least when I draw them.

Sorry Barry

I forgot to take a picture of Barry so here are two actualdoodles instead (as always, click for the bigger image). And yes again sorry the giraffish thing seems to have developed sentient mobile earwax this is NOT my fault it’s the pen’s.

aaaaaaa

8.06I’ve been told that the resemblance between myself today and this doodle has been uncanny, but, y’know, I had reasons! Like my books having been delayed when today I was meant to be setting my stuff up in the gallery, and me being halfway sure they wouldn’t even be done by tomorrow evening  (as had been the predicted worst case scenario). Also like arriving at said gallery to find that, instead of being wedged in somewhere with the necklaces and stuff, I have in fact been given an actual huge exhibition space with a massive table and display board and all I have is some non-existent books and a tray that was probably meant for bathroom accessories or something but which I’d decided would have to do for lack of finding a more suitable bookstand and that it was fine since I’d have plenty of time to work out a way to make the books fit in. Like *insert third thing because these things work in threes in good narrative* but yikes, I mean, aaaaa!

Now that I’ve calmed down again though I’ve decided it’s all fine, and may even be good. First of all, I NOW HAVE THE BOOKS THEY ARE BOOKS THEY WERE PRINTED THEY HAVE PAGES AND EVERYTHING and I will want to tweak them a bit admittedly but BOOKS and a guy at the print shop who as far as I know was not my friend or paid to be nice to me asked to look at them and OF HIS OWN ACCORD liked it and said they looked really fun to colour! ! And they even look like they’re going to be fine in the stand, though I am not saying that officially yet for fear of jinxes.

Second of all, I have decided it’s less of an exhibition and more of a colouring-in stand, which is much less aaaaaworthy. So I’m improvising a colouring-in stand/exhibition/something with the books, a selection of my old blogdoodles and essentially anything else I can find, including random fake flowers possibly and also Arnold and Barry whom you haven’t met yet but will be showing up shortly. It will probably be rather unprofessional-looking but should also be rather fun and if it’s raining people might just come in and do a bit of colouring which would be lovely, because I always worry about holidaymakers here when it rains.

Thirdly I am now going to breathe quietly for an hour or two. You can join me if you like. In… and out… and in… and out…