2018.01.26I realise I’m a bit late in reacting to this, but I can’t seem to let it go – the sheer idea of having a beauty pageant for camels, Botox aside, is just so wrong! Of all the animal kingdom, not only do camels certainly care the absolute least about what anyone thinks of them -they’re visibly delighted with themselves just as they are- but they are also the most likely animal to spit on anyone attempting to judge them. And Sources tell me that camel ‘spitting’ is more like throwing up than what we think of as spitting. Just, no.

Flamingos, now. Flamingos would be into pageants! They’d like it!

Though I suppose there would be nothing to Botox.


Emotional depth


So my monsters are all ‘We like your happy pictures but would like to remind you that we are complex individuals with our own perspectives and opinions and emotional depth and you should portray this’ and I’m all ‘You mean you want to look like disaffected but unwittingly cute teenagers?’ and they’re all ‘YES!’ so …here you go, monsters.


2018.01.16Or rather, not turnips, but small burrowing creatures pretending to be turnips for reasons unknown and likely nefarious. Found in poorly weeded vegetable plots and monsters’ lawns. They’re probably spies. DO NOT EAT.