Spork

I would like to use this post to raise awareness concerning the Common or Concrete Spork.

Few of us know that the sporks we think of as cutlery are in fact harvested from these eponymous, mandrake-like creatures. Fewer still have heard of the inhumane practices implemented by large scale agricultural businesses, which remove not only all of the root-buds (thus starving the mother-Spork of nutrients and forcing it to go forage for food) but sometimes the head-stem as well – a cruel practice which has led to a sharp decline of Spork numbers in the wild.

The Concrete Spork is small, a little slimy and of a pale peach or pale lavender colour. It is most commonly found growing through concrete surfaces near fast food outlets or picnic areas, where it occasionally consumes crisp packets and other detritus, but mostly photosynthesizes. In maturity it continually grows forked buds which serve as roots before developing into small immature Sporks themselves- it is these which are removed and dried for us to use as cutlery.

You can encourage the growth of Sporks by disposing of your rubbish carelessly and by cutting down any large trees impeding their access to sunshine. Planting low bushes can also offer camouflage and nesting spaces.

If you wish to offer further help, any donations you might be able to spare for our GoFundMe would be greatly appreciated.

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