On a side note, I bring you Cat News! You may already be aware that the lovely, hyper-friendly black cat who usually visits my garden does not in fact have occasional social exhaustion, but… wait for it… an evil twin. This discovery naturally caused a fair amount of consternation, particularly when I realised that time travel and a dystopian feline future must be involved. We were most impressed at our cat’s heroism in travelling into history to warn itself, of course. But Future Cat would inevitably be revealed as an agent, or possibly an unknowing sleeper agent, of the Future Dystopian Government; hence evil and not to be trusted. We did our best to communicate this to Original Cat but with indifferent success. Now, the sighting happened a while ago and we have not seen the two felines together since -indicating that my theories must be correct at least to some degree- and I figured that was the end of it, and that humans would never know which version of the feline Universe had won.
Little did I know that things were more complicated than this. Ladies, Gentlemen and Etc, we have a USURPER! A traitorous, despicable GREY cat has taken to visiting and indeed miaowing coyly at the human contingent of our garden’s residents. The cheek! The horror! Also the rudeness – it sprayed my Christmas tree, which was only hanging out in its pot minding its own business. But who is this new player? Is this yet another time-travelling mutation of our original cat? Was the previous doppelganger in fact not evil at all? Was s/he there to warn us from the grey cat? Is going grey the feline equivalent of growing a villain’s moustache? Or is it from even further into the future, greyed with age and on a path to redemption after its previous future-self destroyed the world? And why the interest in humans? What is the significance of the tree? Will my tree destroy the future of cats??
…I shall keep you posted. If I find out.