So my Sources (thank you Springwatch) tell me that there is a fish called the stickleback which, during the mating season, uses anal secetions to glue sticks together to make a nest, and that this process is known as “spigging”. The above is not a stickleback because sticklebacks are not in fact goldfish, but sticklebacks look kind of murky and dull and also I could not be bothered to look up a picture for reference. BUT point being: “spigging” is now my new favourite word and I would like to introduce it into common usage as a mild swear word, as in “You spigging fool!”, “Alphonse, turn us round immediately! I’ve left the spigging tap on!”, or even “OW spigging spiggity spig” for when you have dropped something on your foot.

Please do, ahem, spread the word.